What will Jonny do? (Tick...Tick...Boom! in review)

     Am I kidding myself? Is it time to face the music? What purpose do I have in continuing down this path? Time is running out, always ticking forward, but is it worth it to live a life where I don't enjoy what I do? Is it better to be with someone who doesn't understand you than to be alone? These are important questions, and some that pretty much everyone has to face at some point in their lives. This last week, I took the time to watch Tick...Tick...Boom! on Netflix, which is a movie directed by Lin-Manuel Miranda (of Hamilton and In the Heights fame). More than that, however, it is a one-man-show about a period of time in the life of "Rent" playwright, Jonathan Larson, that has been restaged into a different context. In this almost 2 hour movie, it really takes you through this period of Jonathan's life, just before his 30th birthday. Right off the top, I just have to say that I thought this movie was excellent, especially for where I am in my life right now, but I think it would be just as enjoyable for people later in life, though I could definitely be wrong. There's a decent amount to talk about here, and though it's not an incredibly long post today, I'll go ahead and dive into it, so as to not waste any more time (see what I did there?). 

A story in a frame...

    This movie is set up as a frame story of sorts. The meat of the movie is the narrative, showing Jonathan Larson (played by Andrew Garfield) at age 29, just a few weeks before his 30th birthday, stressing about not having any real success from his career, though he's been working on a musical for the past 8 years. He's desperate to write one more song for his musical, as a few people have told him that the leading lady needs a song to cement her stakes on the plot, as well as drive the main character to make a decision. He has always had an easy time making songs about basically anything as a creative exercise, but in this case, he really struggles, and does for a lot of the film. He's perpetually worried and excited about this workshop that is coming up, which is where he's finally going to show off his musical to the world, and hopes that success will be soon to follow. We see him devoting his whole life and all of his time to this song that has to be written, and feel his frustration as he continues to face setback after setback, even though nothing seems to be going too horribly wrong, other than some stress-induced self destruction between himself and his friends. In the face of growing pressure from more and more sources to "grow up and get a real job," he has to prove his worth to not only everyone else around him, but also to himself, as he constantly compares himself to Stephen Sondheim, who got his first musical on Broadway when he was 27. The ticking of the clock that is mentioned again and again in this story is working against him, and he wants to make history by the time that he's thirty. He fears that it's already too late for him to make an impact or to be known in the industry, which makes that ticking even more tense and dramatic for him. It's a complicated and very relatable story to a relatively young creative mind, and though I won't spoil it, it definitely ends on a bittersweet note, though still an inspirational one.

    Outside of that internal narrative, Jonathan Larson is narrating this story for us as part of a one man musical show that he wrote about these experiences, which is called "Tick... Tick... Boom!" Yes, the show is actually called that as you find out later. For those of you who don't like musicals, no, you probably will not like this movie, as there are quite a few songs that Jonathan wrote for this show, but they're all really good. Not only is the movie itself a musical, it's a musical about writing a musical, which is a fantastic concept I think, especially it came from such a personal place for Larson. I say that this was a restaging of a real show, because this was actually a thing that was performed a while ago. As I've already mentioned, Jonathan Larson is best known for "Rent," the show that really put him on the map, but unfortunately, he passed away the night before that show was first put on, according to the narration. Before "Rent", there was this show (the movie) that he put on about the writing of a previous show, a science fiction musical that he talks about a lot in this movie. Though there is no music from Rent in the movie (as far as I can tell, I really only know the opening song), you can see the beginnings of ideas that would lead to Rent and what it is about. I don't know if how much of this was present in the original performance and how much was added for this movie with the added benefit of hindsight, but it works out really well, explaining what could inspire someone to make a musical like "Rent," which, as the narration says at one point, changed the entire landscape of what musical theatre could be.

What happens when time runs out?

    The final song ends in a little musical cue, the happy birthday song. Jonathan Larson has reached his 30th birthday, the titular ticking has stopped for now, he smiles, and plays the final note. His birthday has passed and it wasn't the end of the world. He realizes that he still has time to make his mark, and though he didn't have as much time as he may have thought at that time, he did ultimately make his mark on the Broadway community, and the world as a whole. Going into this movie, I knew absolutely nothing about Jonathan Larson, and relatively little about the process that goes into pitching a broadway show, but it does a solid job of explaining in great detail what it means to be a "starving artist." This movie doesn't sugarcoat things, and actually shows one of his best friends, Michael, have to give up on his dream of being an actor in order to make a living at a well paying job. It takes a lot of talent, dedication, and luck to make it in the industry, but if you have the passion, this movie has something to say to you. You're probably not going to be the next Steven Sondheim or Lin-Manuel Miranda, and that's just the way it is. However, there is only one you. You have the power to tell a story that no one else could think of, and that's why people continue to go through these struggles every day. That's the reason that Larson was on stage all those years ago, and why his story is still so relatable today, even though it was set back in the 1990s. The story happens all the time, though with many different outcomes. Just remember that it's never too late for you to let that story known.

    Thank you so much for reading this post, friends. I'm going to be honest, this film spoke to me in a much deeper way than I thought it would, and not just because the main character shares my name. It's a hard thing to chase a creative career, but there's something inspiring about it as well. I have nothing but extreme respect for anyone who believes in any idea that strongly, and though I'm not planning on writing a musical anytime soon, I do hope I'll have some sort of idea that I can believe in strongly like that. I would highly recommend watching this movie if you enjoy musicals or biopics. I hope you're all doing well and I'll talk to you all again soon. Until next time, I've been Jonathan, your Self-Proclaimed Dreamer, and never forget about your dreams, even if you don't pursue them.