When Hinges Creak in Doorless Chambers... (Haunted Mansion (2023) in review)

     Welcome, foolish mortals, to this chilling review of one of the spookiest films to come out all year. What makes it so spine-chilling, one may ask? Why, it came out over the summer, and thus, commercially flopped. It blows my mind that this movie came out over the summer, it's such a perfect "Spooky season" movie, and I feel like it's my duty today to talk a bit about this movie and why it deserves a watch during October, especially since it's now on Disney+. Of course, I'm slightly biased, because I love the ride so much, and there are tons of easter eggs to the classic attraction, so feel free to take this review with a grain of salt. Hop inside your Doom Buggies, friends, because we're going to New Orleans!

Beware of Hitchhiking Ghosts!

    The story of this movie is a much more complicated affair than I expected, though it makes sense for this to have some depth with death being such a major theme of the ride. In the beginning, we meet Ben, an expert on the ghost activity in New Orleans (or the lack thereof because he's fairly sure that they're not real), as well as a mother and her son who have newly moved into an old house which, surprisingly, is extremely haunted. They flee, but they come right back, as they're forced to by hitchhiking ghosts which follow them wherever they go. This is the premise for the movie as a whole, constantly meeting new characters, they come to the mansion to help this family out, they leave, and they're followed home and brought back because of a ghost. It's the "why" factor that we're focused on, and also the part of the conflict that is focused on the most. Why is it that all of these ghosts are forcing the characters to return to the Haunted Mansion against their will? Ben is brought into the picture with the promise of money, and is contacted because of his special camera lens which can capture ghosts on film (not literally capture, but take pictures of). He's recruited by Father Kent, who was first contacted to do an exorcism on the house, and once they're all trapped in the house with the ghosts, they continue to bring in a few more people who can help them with somehow stopping the threat in this house (which I don't want to give away yet because of spoilers).

    I have to give a lot of credit to the references in this movie, because again, I am a huge Disney fan, so a lot of things stuck out to me right away in this movie. The stretching hallway is shown pretty much right away, we have haunted suits of armor, which is just a classic haunting trope, we have the mariner ghost from the queue in Walt Disney World, so it's not technically shown in the mansion as far as I can remember, but it is in the courtyard. The soundtrack is constantly throwing around themes of "Grim Grinning Ghosts," the extremely catchy song that plays in the graveyard scene in the ride, which I really enjoyed. There are hints of so many little references and moments in this movie, it's hard to talk about them all, though I have to point out just a few more. The chair that Tiffany Haddish's character is pushed back in when trying to summon Madame Leota is 100% inspired by the Doom Buggy, the ride vehicle that you get into as the ride begins, and we even see it moving backwards and spinning from forward to back, which is something that the ride does. The Black Widow ghost in the attic was fantastic, and that goes double for the Hatbox Ghost, which ends up being the main villain of our grim tale. I just wrote about Disney Parks updates a few weeks ago, and in that, I shared that the Hatbox Ghost is finally coming to Florida after a long ride to get there! The Hatbox Ghost, in case you didn't read my post from the other day, was a concept that came about with the initial planning process for the original ride! The idea was to have a ghost that is carrying around a hatbox, and the ghost's head would occasionally disappear only to reappear inside the box that it was carrying. The technology of the day unfortunately wasn't able to achieve that effect in the way that the imagineers were hoping for, so it wasn't added. For the 50th anniversary of Disneyland, however, they put the Hatbox Ghost among the other haunts in the house, and now we're finally getting this iconic character in Walt Disney World's version! That doesn't have much to do with the movie, but I'm just so happy that it was such a major character in the film.

    I've been excited for this movie for a long time, and when they announced such a stellar cast, how could I not be? Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito, Tiffany Haddish, Jamie Lee Curtis, and the list goes on and on. Everyone in this movie does a great job, and it seemed like they all had a great time making the movie. I'm of the opinion that Danny Devito is just always going to be funny, so he was a naturally great pick for the comedic tone that the movie typically had. It would be wrong of me to say nothing of the fantastic performances from Winona Ryder and Daniel Levy, even though they only appeared in one scene. They absolutely steal the show for the few seconds of screen time they have, and without giving too much away, include a reference to another classic Disney attraction in their scene.  Though I would say this movie was definitely funny overall, there was tragedy and horror as well. LaKeith Stanfield, who plays Ben, is dealing with feelings of loss throughout the film, and I think they handled that really well, especially since there is so much talk about grief and death in here. He's missing his deceased wife, Alyssa, and the house definitely picks up on his "sympathetic vibrations," as the Ghost Host in the ride would say. Truly everyone in the main cast does a pretty excellent range of different emotions to the proceedings, since while it is a funny movie, it also beings a lot of horror and despair.

    There's not much else I can say about this movie without going more into the spoiler side of things, but I just really enjoyed it. It may be because I'm a sucker for the easter eggs that have to do with the ride, but I feel like it's a perfect spooky time for the Halloween season without being completely engrossed in the gore and jump scares that have so often plagued the "horror" film genre. It's maybe not a film for the youngest of viewers, just because of some of the heavier themes of death and heartache, but the plot overall has a sweet message in the end. If nothing else, I liked it a lot better than the Eddie Murphy Haunted Mansion movie from 2003.

    Thanks so much for reading this somewhat brief post about the new Haunted Mansion movie, friends! Did you like it if you watched it? Please let me know! It's entirely possible that most people didn't like it, but I really did, maybe because, as I said, I'm a big fan of the ride, and thought that it did well to pay tribute to that ride. I hope you have a great week and I'll talk to you again soon, maybe about another spooky topic, but we'll have to see! I'm Jonathan, your Self-Proclaimed Ghost Host... and farewell, foolish mortals... until we meet again. Don't worry, you'll be back, and be sure to bring your death certificate. Mwahaha!